If there was one complaint I had during the previous two Pirates of the Carribean films, it was the annoying fact that Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow wound up taking a side-car position, while at the same time being a main character focus. He would show up when something important needed to occur, say something goofy, and then he would disappear until he was needed for a witty line for a sword fight.
In "On Stranger Tides", we are spared the shenanigans of William Turner and his love interest, Posh-Governors-Daughter-Turned-Pirate Queen Elizabeth Swann, as well as the almost too-tedious-to-be-compelling heartbreak story of Davy Jones.
Woefully, we don't get to see Lee Arenberg's Pintel and Mackenzie Crook's Ragetti this time around. We trade them in for a singular member of Blackbeards crew who occasionally says something dim.
This time, Jack is center stage, in a tale of the search for the Fountain of Youth, based on a series of books about a younger Jack Sparrow that I saw floating around grocery stores around the time Dead Mans Chest hit theaters.
Ian McShane plays the role of Necromancer Pirate Lord Blackbeard, having survived his decapitation at the hands of the English, wielding a magic sword that commands his ships sails and makes it shoot fire. All with the annoyed and world weary calm he exhibited in Deadwood as Al Swerengen. Despite it being a Disney film, I wanted Blackbeard to drop a "Cocksucker!" just once. I mean, it's almost the guys bread and butter.
Penelope Cruz plays Blackbeards daughter Angelica. Another woman from Jack's past that he's had encounters with. Obviously intended for a villainess role, I found it hard to care about her. She weaves back and forth from wanting to help Blackbeard reach the fountain of youth, and playing Jack like a fiddle.
Geoffrey Rush is on his game with his protrayal of "Pirvateer" Hector Barbosa, more concerned about his revenge against Blackbeard than his trivial differences with Jack.
However, we're missing something vital to a Pirates film, aren't we? That's right, romance. We still don't have our lovey dovey side story. A fixture in all three of the previous films.
Sure we have the sexual tension between Angelica and Jack, that Jack Sparrow is never the kind to swoon, fawn or say sweet things. That job falls on a cleric played by Sam Claflin and a Mermaid played by Astrid Berges-Frisbey who's been taken captive by Blackbeard so as to obtain a "Mermaids Tear". This side story had some potential to evolve into the next Orlando Bloom/Keira Knightley, if only perhaps we had met the Cleric earlier, encountered the Mermaids sooner, but then, an elongated side story would have taken the sptolight off Jack, and that's the one we want to see.
There is also a third party in play for the Fountain of Youth, a Spanish Galleon commander simply known as The Spaniard, played by Oscar Jaenada. The Spanish only appear a few times, The Spaniard even less, but when he does appear, you can't help but be impressed and hope that perhaps he will cross swords with Jack Sparrow in a future film.
There are a few scenes in this movie that feel like they weren't really necessary other than to have Jack and Blackbeard quip at one another. The Scene at the Broken Bridge and the Russian Flintlock Roulette as an example.
As it stands as a Pirates film, it is in this humble bloggers personal opinion that the film outshines At Worlds End, as the story remains on a set course for the majority of the film, rather than jumping from plot point and side plot point every few minutes, with Johnny Depp standing around looking lost or bored and waiting for Orlando to shut up so he can say his next line. Or waiting to actually appear, as it so happened to be the case in the second and third film.
Rated 7/8 Pieces of Eight-- Go see it and have fun.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Game Review-- Fallout New Vegas: Honest Hearts
Honest Hearts is the second of the four planned downloadable contents for Obsidians Fallout New Vegas. The premise is simple. The player signs on with a caravan crew to journey to New Canaan, which was mentioned in the core game as being a settlement of Mormons in Utah. En route through Zion National Park, your caravan gets jumped by tribals, setting off a chain of events that lead to the final conflict between warring tribes in the valley, as well as the conflict of ideals between a Mormon Missionary and the infamous Burned Man, aka Joshua Graham, of Ceasars Legion fame.
We never get to see New Canaan, as we learn that the tribe that attacked you wiped it out. It's a fact that made me think that the DLC started too late into the story, and indeed feels like you're arriving onto the scene right before the big climax.
The main storyline clumps a bunch of quests on you, most of which are satisfied with a single action, and a lot of them are merely fetch quests, or going to a location and eliminated a set enemy. It all seems like prep work that would have made a lot more sense if we had arrived earlier in this storyline.
The big moral decision is whether you choose to have a tribe that has been mostly docile and peaceful go to war to defend their land against the evil White Legs tribe (whom we only get to interact with through violent means), or helping them evacuate out of Zion to safety. You're probably not going to be losing sleep over this one like certain other moral dilemmas, but it's nice that it's there to make us feel involved.
Now lets talk about the Burned Man. I will admit, I had something entirely different in my minds eye when I heard he was going to be involved in this one. I was thinking Dark Man, and instead we got King Tut in a Salt Lake City police vest, and a .45 pistol. Not the image I was expecting from the man who makes the leader of Ceasars Legions wet himself in bed at night.
The Burned Man also has a penchant for scripture. After being doused in pitch, set on fire, and dropped down into the Grand Canyon, Joshua Graham found religion, becoming a more...philisophical, if not pious man. It did not, however, make him a peaceful man.
The winners in this DLC count to 2. First is the non-NCR Desert Ranger armor and helmet, so now you can walk the Mojave Wasteland in your trenchcoat and armored badassery and not have to worry about faction incriminations. The second is the various caves that dot Zion. Inside you will often find terminals detailing the trials and tribulations of a lone survivalist living in the valley after the bombs dropped, and how he became involved with the founding of one of the valleys tribes. It's well worth the trekking and cavern diving, just to find another piece of a rather sad, but touching story.
The story of Honest Hearts wins no prizes. It starts too late into it, and it feels like it ends too soon. If anything else, pick it up for the extra toys (there are many), and the Survivalists journals.
Honest Hearts can be procurred on PC and XBOX 360, and PS3's Playstation Network once they've recovered from their recent rashof bad luck.
--Doctor Scraps
We never get to see New Canaan, as we learn that the tribe that attacked you wiped it out. It's a fact that made me think that the DLC started too late into the story, and indeed feels like you're arriving onto the scene right before the big climax.
The main storyline clumps a bunch of quests on you, most of which are satisfied with a single action, and a lot of them are merely fetch quests, or going to a location and eliminated a set enemy. It all seems like prep work that would have made a lot more sense if we had arrived earlier in this storyline.
The big moral decision is whether you choose to have a tribe that has been mostly docile and peaceful go to war to defend their land against the evil White Legs tribe (whom we only get to interact with through violent means), or helping them evacuate out of Zion to safety. You're probably not going to be losing sleep over this one like certain other moral dilemmas, but it's nice that it's there to make us feel involved.
Now lets talk about the Burned Man. I will admit, I had something entirely different in my minds eye when I heard he was going to be involved in this one. I was thinking Dark Man, and instead we got King Tut in a Salt Lake City police vest, and a .45 pistol. Not the image I was expecting from the man who makes the leader of Ceasars Legions wet himself in bed at night.
The Burned Man also has a penchant for scripture. After being doused in pitch, set on fire, and dropped down into the Grand Canyon, Joshua Graham found religion, becoming a more...philisophical, if not pious man. It did not, however, make him a peaceful man.
The winners in this DLC count to 2. First is the non-NCR Desert Ranger armor and helmet, so now you can walk the Mojave Wasteland in your trenchcoat and armored badassery and not have to worry about faction incriminations. The second is the various caves that dot Zion. Inside you will often find terminals detailing the trials and tribulations of a lone survivalist living in the valley after the bombs dropped, and how he became involved with the founding of one of the valleys tribes. It's well worth the trekking and cavern diving, just to find another piece of a rather sad, but touching story.
The story of Honest Hearts wins no prizes. It starts too late into it, and it feels like it ends too soon. If anything else, pick it up for the extra toys (there are many), and the Survivalists journals.
Honest Hearts can be procurred on PC and XBOX 360, and PS3's Playstation Network once they've recovered from their recent rashof bad luck.
--Doctor Scraps
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